Tomorrow this monkey heads to daycare and I return to work from maternity leave. It’s a poignant day because it also happens to be exactly one year from theday we began our IVF cycle. Everyday last February is still so clear in my head. The uncertainty of the cycle working is replaced this year with the ache that Isla and I won’t be spending every moment together any longer.
3 months ago, it seemed like we had so much time! I can’t believe how quickly that time went. I knew going back to work would be hard, but it is more difficult than I imagined it. The thought of not being the one to comfort her when she cries during the day makes me so sad. I also do not want to miss out on any of her milestones. As you can imagine, I’ve had several meltdowns over the last few days. Isla is still not on a real schedule – especially with nursing and she still spends lots of time nursing for comfort. I think missing out on this will be tough for both of us.
I know daycare and socialization will be good for her (and I enjoy my job!), I just wish that the laws in our country were such that I could be home for the first 6 months to a year. 3 months is just not enough. I’m sure there are many working mothers out there who agree!
Thankfully this first day back will be a work-from-home day so I can be close to daycare. It might be more weird to be home alone for the day…hopefully it will help to ease the transition though.